Open Letter To Chicago Mayor, Richard M. Daley

Dear "Don" Daley:

What's that? Your first name isn't Don? Yeah, I know. You'll notice that it's in quotations, which means to infer that it is a nickname that I've given you based on the FACT that you continually operate like some Mafia don who knows he has absolute impunity to do whatever the hell he wants.

Your seemingly endless reign as mayor of Chicago has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that your direct connections to widespread corruption, mismanagement and hubris seem to only endear you further to the people of this great city.

This week, barely able to conceal the smile upon your otherwise lifeless face, you announced that the city of Chicago had privatized parking meters, resulting in an immediate increase in many areas from 25 cents an hour to $1 an hour, with a future increase to $2 an hour by the year 2013.

Most appalling, of course, was the revelation that downtown parking meters would go from $3 to $6.50 an hour within five years.

That, in and of itself, is highway robbery.

What's worse is that you sold a huge chunk of the city's financial future for a one-time up-front payment of $1.2 billion as an immediate cash injection to offset a slew of horrible budgetary decisions on your part. You and your cronies have long been playing fast-and-loose with the future of this city, operating with total disregard for anyone but yourselves and continually leaving us, the citizens of Chicago, to pick up the tab.

Is it not bad enough that we already pay the highest sales tax in the nation?

Is it not bad enough that you cut this deal, which results in the immediate fleecing of the citizens of this great city, DURING A RECESSION?!

All part of the price we pay to live in the greatest city in the world, right?

Wrong, Dick.

As it stands, the city makes approximately $20 million per year from parking meter revenue. If rates were to remain fixed for the next 75 years (not likely), that would equal $1.5 billion in revenue. If, on the other hand, the city maintained control of the meters and raised rates moderately based on current inflation and economic factors, the amount of revenue generated would easily be double that of the one-time payment of $1.2 billion you're going to receive (and blow foolishly over the next few years).

Oh, but you'd rather have the money now in order to stop some of the bleeding you've caused. Never mind the next generation, you say, it's in our best interests to cover up your mess so that you don't get voted out of office for driving the city into the ground.

Bravo, Dick.

Of course, you've tried valiantly to spin this so that we citizens of this great city feel like we've been given a check for $1.2 billion. We haven't, you have. We're the ones left paying ridiculous parking meter rates that will no doubt immediately adversely affect downtown business. You know, businesses that are more than likely already seeing a sharp decline in traffic and revenue. Not to hear you tell it, though.

You were quoted recently as saying, "We're lucky we've done these things in a very difficult and challenging market," Daley said. "All the economists are now looking at Chicago, finding out how they do this in a challenging economy - that we basically leased public assets for the public good."

Um, WHAT?!

When challenged on that claim, of course, you got all bent out of shape and sarcastically offered to lease the meters to aldermanic critics: "I'll sell it to you for $4 billion. You go out and get $4 billion."

Nice.

Oh, but you weren't done: "The people own the asset to be used today for this generation of people and not for 2050 .... Our responsibility is to help the generation right now."

Um, dude, you do realize that it is the people of 2050 who will still be paying for this deal, right?

What's next? Pay Port-o-Johns at the Taste of Chicago? Pay to get in, pay to get out? That's just crazy enough to work, you say? Oh crap.

Seriously, Dick, do us all a favor and don't do us any more favors. Capiche?

Your pal,
Darren