Like Sands Through The Hourglass, So Are The Days of Trent And Axl

We all have our little obsessions, don't we? I mean, I still buy every Cheap Trick album that comes out, even though "Special One" wasn't very special at all and "Rockford" should have just stayed home. In the past week or so, though, I've been treated to some joyful noise from two of my favorite guilty pleasures: Axl Rose and Trent Reznor.

Axl, of course, finally had the (or, rather, a) final mix of the long overdue Chinese Democracy pried from his freckled hands and unleashed upon the world. The response has been incredibly mixed, of course, with a slew of Axl worshippers calling it the greatest thing since the mullet was invented and others rightfully christening it a steaming pile of Pro Tools-gone-horribly-wrong.

If Axl doesn't suffer from ADD, you'd be hard-pressed to prove it, as the album is a schizophrenic, meandering and virtually unlistenable train wreck from start to finish. The guy is so unsure of who he is and what he wants to say, that he tries his damndest to be everything - usually within the same song - shifting gears so often that he never really builds up any momentum. The shear dementia on display makes it almost listenable. Almost.

Truth be told, the album resembles a Nine Inch Nails album more than I ever thought possible. The paint-by-numbers industrial posturing, the elegiac piano breaks that are squeezed in to break the monotony, and the rantings of a singular star surrounded by hired guns all combine to create something that could have been great, but ultimately falls well short of the "legend".

Truth be told, Axl and Trent Reznor have almost melded into one person. They've worked with enough of the same people on past efforts that its either frightening or hilarious, I haven't figured out which.

And, of course, Trent must be feeling a little left out with Chinese Democracy grabbing so much of the attention here on the interweb (albeit not so much on the charts, as ChiDem sold a cringe-worthy 200k in its opening week - far short of expectations). Especially since, according to a message Reznor recemntly posted to his blog, financing and scheduling problems have led to the plug being pulled on his much-anticipated NIN 3-D concert film.

He also mentions that this tour will probably be the last large-scale NIN tour. In other words, Mr. "I'm So Happy To Be Free Of The Major Label System" (who, ironically, went begging to his former label for financing on the 3-D film - how indie is that?!) is already feeling the constraints of true independence.

My hunch is that he'll be inking a deal with Live Nation (or some other such entity) within the next few months in order to beef up his bank account so that he can continue to afford the necessary smoke and mirrors to cover up the fact that the songs just aren't there. I mean, seriously, if he'd spent more time creating great songs than dreaming up the latest high-tech live show, he wouldn't be in the position. Of course, there's no telling him (or the legions of crazily devoted NIN fans) that.

Of course, as long as they remain completely high on their own fumes and totally hell-bent on foisting one polished turd after the other upon the world, I will continue to take great enjoyment in the spectacle that is their, ahem, downward spiral.

Reality check? Couldn't happen to two nicer guys.

Axl Rose Concert Speech #1
Axl Rose Concert Speech #2
Axl Rose Concert Speech #3
Axl Rose Concert Speech #4

And, of course, my favorite Trent moment of all time: