Monday, September 22, 2008
kid rock + nascar + army national guard = sigh.
Remember when going to a movie meant not having to watch commercials?
Yeah, I know, movie previews are technically commercials, but you know what I mean.
Lately, they've been showing so many commercials before the main feature that one is mentally fatigued from the shear number of them by the time previews even begin. By the time the movie begins, I've literally forgotten what I came to see.
Thus, after my friend reminded me that we'd come to see "Burn After Reading" (meh), the latest U.S. Army National Guard ad began to roll.
Or was it just the latest Kid Rock video? Or NASCAR's latest attempt to position itself as the official sport of true Americans? I still don't know.
Whatever it was, it just left a really bad taste in my mouth. See, it was easy to shrug off recent U.S. Army commercials as ridiculous attempts to make the idea of you getting your ass shot off seem such a remote possibility as to not even be worth mentioning.
Never mind that U.S. soldiers are still being killed on an almost daily basis in Iraq - neither our government nor the media seems to think that's worth mentioning either.
The usual premise of U.S. Army commercials has been to show off the Army's latest whiz-bang weapons technology and the shear coolness of pressing a button in some air-conditioned office and having an unmanned fighter plane bomb the inhabitants of some god forsaken dust bowl back to the stone age.
This latest U.S Army National Guard commercial, though, is aimed at a completely different demographic and, thus, is as ham-fisted and transparent an attempt by the National Guard to appeal to - well, there's really no other way to say it - rednecks as I've ever seen.
Yep, it seems the U.S. Army is going after cubicle jockeys able to push CTRL-ALT-DEFEAT while the National Guard goes after the guys whose work attire consists of flannel shirts with the sleeves cut off. They must be running low on knuckle draggers willing to stand around the streets of Baghdad and get shot at.
Well, who better than self-proclaimed Rock & Roll Jesus, Kid Rock to bump up those numbers? Seems Rock's jingo-istic cliche-fest "Warrior" was tailor-made for the National Guard's needs. My hunch is that he wrote it for the movie "300", but that the film's music supervisor deleted his email with the mp3 demo attached about ten seconds into listening to it. Crikey.
The video, of course, is like some evil union of Spike TV and the Lifetime channel. Aw, isn't that cute? A little Iraqi kid kicked a soccer ball into the path of an oncoming tank and the soldiers didn't shoot him to smithereens.
If that weren't bad enough, they've spliced in some footage of Dale Earnhardt Jr. trying to look bad-ass for good measure. Kid Rock and Dale Earnhardt, Jr. in the same commercial? You can just imagine the Army brass high-fiving with glee, waiting for the volunteers to come runnin'.
That the Army National Guard would pick a nimrod the size of Kid Rock (who tends to either show off his latest bimbo girlfriend or sucker punch a member of Motley Crue whenever he has a new album out) to promote patriotism is as much an insult to anyone with an IQ higher than their shoe size as the last eight years have been.
That Kid Rock has been able to turn his one-hit wonder-dom into a decade-plus career is proof that not all people are graced with the common decency to recognize when they've overstayed their welcome. Overstay it long enough, I guess, and not nearly enough people will laugh at your desperate attempts to remain in the public eye.
Add Dale Earnheardt, Jr. (widely known to be a king-size douche) to the mix and you have a full-on idiot-fest.
America...you'll never go broke under-estimating our intelligence. Fuck, I'm out of Budweiser.
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19 comments:
That was awesome...I totally agree...
You often come off as a self-important douche on the Velvet Rope™, but you have sunk to new lows insulting the men and women who have volunteered to serve in the armed forces with the following completely up-the-ass statements:
"They must be running low on knuckle draggers willing to stand around the streets of Baghdad and get shot at."
and
"Aw, isn't that cute? A little Iraqi kid kicked a soccer ball into the path of an oncoming tank and the soldiers didn't shoot him to smithereens."
You sir, do not measure up to the dust on the boots of most of the men and women I have seen interviewed that are serving in the armed forces these days.
You don't like Kid Rock, NASCAR, The Army, etc. fine, we get it. Just don't insult the men and women who serve who are getting their asses shot at and off on a daily basis doing a job I highly doubt that you would be up to doing.
Carry on.
The gov't is experimenting with selective breeding. They figure that white trash morons will be lured by Kid Rock and Dale Jr. They volunteer, get their asses killed in the war, and can never reproduce.
Of course, that will cut down on potential Republican voters, but sacrifices must be made for the greater good.
Dear John--
I appreciate our response to my blog entry.
Generally speaking, the Army and Nat'l Guard prey on low income volunteers and that is the simple truth. The number of hispanics, "po' white folk" and inner-city and southern-state african americans far outweigh those with college educations or who come from middle-class or higher families.
If I am a douche for saying so, you are twice the douche for pretending to be offended by the truth.
I respect anyone and everyone who serves in the armed forces. I do not like the fact that, because of their low position on the demographic totem pole, that their value has been marginalized by their own government, not to mention the media.
They've become expendable, thousands have died for absolutely no good reason, and now the Nat'l Guard needs more and that sickens me. That Kid Rock would go along with such a thing to further his own career sickens me almost as much.
Sincerely,
Darren
Dear John Griffith:
Veteran from two deployments overseas here. I say he's got every right to insult me anyone else he wants to. One of the perks of the first amendment.
I think you are one of the most self important narcissist douchebags on the Velvet Rope.( and that is quite an achievment given the regulars there.)
But I think you are spot on about this, and it takes no small amount of courage to put it out there.
Kudos.
Anyone who denies the Nat'l Guard have been exploited and used as fodder in Iraq is just too lazy to research the facts. If you really want to honour and support the troops, get them the hell out of Iraq and Afghanistan. Now.
My test is always "Would you send your child?"
Would Kid Rock send his son to Iraq? I really don't know if it's all just an act with him or he's really stupid enough to still believe in the neo con-job
done on the American people over the last 8 years.
Also interesting, but little discussed, is the deployment of new battalions of troops within the borders of the USA starting Oct. 1 for purposes of "crowd control". Research it, it will scare you shitless. Timed to the apparent total economic collapse and a controversial "culture war" election...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufxsUCKJ51M&feature=related
I'm sure Kid Rock will be offered a position within the Homeland Security executive when the New World Order shapes up....He's the perfect poster child for what went wrong with the American dream: too ignorant, too rich, too cynical, too willing to exploit those less cunning.
Despite these treacheries, his music remains his greatest crime against humanity.
OnLine Persona - thank you for your input, and for your service. I'm not busting Darren's chops to infer or imply that he does not have the right to insult (intentionally or not) US service men and women, only to express my afront at his characterization and generalizations regarding same.
Schmid Rock -I don't disagree that we should withdraw our troops (in the main) form both theatres. As for your statement:
"My test is always "Would you send your child?""
I would submit that no one "sends" their child. We have a volunteer Army. I am sick of people advancing the proposition that the majority of our troops (Reserve and Regular) are too ignorant, uninformed and uneducated to know what they are volunteering for, or that they were "duped" into signing up. I do not believe that to be the case for the vast majority of those that do serve, whether or not they specifically agree with the specific mission that they are ordered to carry out.
Gutsy blog, dude.
Is it possible to agree simultaneously with this John Griffith fella and also with you?
It's frustrating for those of us who see our military leaders making moronic decisions, costing us not only thousands of dead but hundreds of thousands of wounded that our politicians don't seem to much care about when they return. It's frustrating to see such redneck propoganda aimed at the uneducated and/or unemployed masses who apparently like NASCAR and really crappy derivative music (I never thought I'd write these words, but Poison is frikkin' Beatle-esque compared to Kid Rock).
It's especially frustrating to express that frustration and be accused of crap like "not supporting the troops." As if opposing specific conflicts and decisions makes one unequivocally anti-military.
All due respect to the men and women in uniform. But shame on the politicians who run the armed circus and the propogandists who put that ad together.
Which is to say, it'll probably land them some recruits.
well put
Too bad your assessment of our military is an opinion based on others' opinions, rather than FACT.
Do you realize that there are complete sets of data covering the demographics of our military?
Did you even bother to review this information before trashing the forces, and the recruiting?
The military does not target "knuckle draggers" that is not even practical, they learned that many years ago, when small time criminals were able to enlist to avoid jail time for crimes like DUIs.
If you are interested in actual FACTS - they are available.
http://www.defenselink.mil/prhome/PopRep_FY06/summary.html
See Appendix C for all types of reports.
You will notice that the Army NG has the LOWEST Tier One of all branches.
I'll understand if you don't bother actually reading the facts -you skipped facts in your Kid Rock bash as well (one hit wonder...???)
Are you possibly confusing Kid with yourself?
I've not been a big Kid Rock earlier music(rap, that is) fan.
I've heard him transcend various genres. I truly applaud his contributions through the USO to our troops and donate to USO monthly to ensure that they can continue to bring true patriots like Kid, Gary Sinese, and Toby Keith to the troops around the world.
Meanwhile wistful has-beens can sit on the sidelines and ridicule those who step up to truly support the troops - the *majority* of whom believe they are on very significant missions.
Jan in TX, I completely applaud your attempt to bring "facts" into what is nothing more than an opinion, no matter how you slice it. If the current administration has taught us nothing else, they've shown that "facts" can be spun any number of ways to serve one's purpose. Thus, I respectfully decline to accept any "facts" that may appear in Appendix C (or any other letter, for that matter) of any document because the only fact that matters is that troops are dying for absolutely no good reason. Kid Rock's involvment in what amounts to nothing more than a pitch for more recruits is deplorable. He gets to play the "patriot" card while the National Guard gets a pitch-man to appeal to the Bud-swilling NASCAR crowd.
It isn't wrong if you don't think it's wrong. By the same token, it isn't right if you don't think it's right. You and I are on opposite sides of this one and it appears we will simply have to agree to disagree.
I do respect your opinion, though.
Ahhh - refraining from reading the actual enlisted statistics. Not good with math - eh?
And who in the hell are YOU to judge another's reason for enlisting, fighting and perhaps dying? We have soldiers who believe they are FINISHING a war their fathers and brothers have been fighting for 2 decades. We have soldiers who read Bin Laden's fatwas from the 90s and TOOK THEM SERIOUSLY. Especially those involving IRAQ.
I wish I could say that I respect your opinion as well, but - I don't. I only respect INFORMED opinions. Your diatribe sounds like it came from Huffington Post/Daily Kos'ish repositories of rhetoric.
A first for me - I am actually planning to vote AND rally AGAINST an entire party, in large part due to the mindset of its platform supporters. You people scare the hell out of me, more than any of the bible beating, gay bashing right wing nuts. And when you are not scaring me, you depress me. It is difficult to accept that there are so many Americans willing to completely trash an entire segment of great Americans for your own entertainment and web site hits.
Jan in TX: Perhaps you should consider a switch to decaf. There is no good reason to die in Iraq at this point. Nothing the US does will ever change the terrain and mindset of that part of the world. No set of fake facts can explain why any soldier deserves to be made a sitting duck.
One aspect they forgot to show in the Kid Rock video are the soldiers who've sat in that little slice of Hell on Earth counting the days until they can go home to their spouses and families, only to have their stays extended with no warning. They fulfilled their commitment, risked their lives on a daily basis, and get the shaft not once but twice. Despicable.
Yikes, another reason I loathe Texas. Idiots aplenty.
(sorry, misspelled Yvonne's name in my initial response, in addition to one other typo)
Yvonne In CA: I've never actually been to TX, so I would not know. I think the thing that everyone needs to keep in mind is that nobody's opinion is right. If it were right, it would not be an opinion, it would be a fact and we'd be having no such discussion with opposing viewpoints.
I certainly understand Jan's passion and desire to be right, but her opinion is no more "right" or important than anyone else's.
When people begin to think that their opinion IS right and matters more than someone else's opinion, they begin treading a slippery slope towards willful ignorance and the ugly side of patriotism.
SPOT FUCKING ON!!!!
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