I remember being a kid and hearing a news report about how the suicide rate always spikes during the holidays and having it stop me in my tracks. For me, Christmas was always the happiest time of the year. Gifts sat beneath the tree just waiting to be freed from their boxes and gift-paper confines, the entire family gathered together, and there being constant laughter.
The idea that somebody somewhere would choose to miss out on this seemed absurd.
It was only after I moved away ten years or so ago that it dawned on me. The first Christmas I spent away from my family, all I could think about was that news report.
I finally understood the sadness and disconnection from the entire world that many people feel this time of year. I remember calling my family that night, of course, and the phone was passed around from relative to relative, all saying "hi" and sending their love. I also remember hanging up in tears.
Time, coupled with the fact that there's absolutely nothing in L.A. that says "Christmas!", has lessened the blow considerably, making December 25th just another day for me.
The five-year-old kid in me must be pissed.
Sigh.
I had this whole blog rant planned out, but, damn if I can finish it now. Something's gotten to me. Maybe five-year-old me is tired of the current me mucking things up.
So, I can either continue this little piece of prose to nobody in particular or I can turn off the fucking computer and make Christmas 2007 mean something to someone.
For some reason, this song's the one that speaks to me so I'll leave on that note and see you guys in '08:
"Carousel"
4 comments:
ACK!
Call some peeps up tell em U miss them and love them. Go to a friends house and do this one next thing for sure:
Promise yourself next year you will get back to where your family and old friends reside and enjoy this time of year with them.
Easier said than done for sure, but try to plan it out.
Hope you feel better. SNOOD lives in Florida and you can forget anything Chrismasy, Most of my relatives are up north also, but my mother comes down every other Christmas and my brother (whom is a pain in the ass) comes over tooooooooooooo. Bro and I put aside our diffs and it has been a pretty KOO time even tho it is usually hot as hell and raining still. LOL
Hope this helps and you are not alone with this feeling. You are right that you can do something about it though.
Do it \o/
SNOOOOOD
BTW your posts are much appreciated and always great reading
Hope you were able to do something for someone today. I understand the feeling. Like SNOOD, I'm in Florida, and as he (she?) said, there is nothing Christmasy here. My remaining family is in Calif., so I'm essentially here alone.
The last two years here I was OK with being away from everyone, but it's hit me a lot harder this year. I don't take any time off work during the holidays and try to find things to distract myself.
SNOOD offers good advice.
take care
Thanks to both of you for your messages. I ended up shopping until the last store had closed (as is my tradition). My g/f and I then traded gifts and spent the day together watching Christmas movies and such.
It was mellow, homey, and lessened the loneliness considerably.
Next year, we'll see what we can do about spending it with family.
I hope everyone had a great holiday and is able to make '08 their year!
Darren
Nice to hear. \o/
Your GF probably appreciated more more than you know.
Stay KOOO
Keep up the great posts
SNOOD
P.S. - It is goning to be 85 degrees this weekend. It rained again on Christmas day. We had fun though - Deep fried a couple turkeys. It's a Southern thing.
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